This blog post is aimed at all the guys out there, from just another guy.
Guys, I’ve got some bad news for you all; we’ve been given horrible wrong information and horrible bad advice regarding interacting with women and what women want. It turns out we should not have been taking advice on what women want from other guys. I’ve done some research into this matter, and it turns out women are, in fact, a much more reliable source for what women want than men are. I know I was pretty shocked too. I’ve spent many years consulting with women on this topic, and I figured I’d share my research findings so others can learn from it.
- A real man is a kind, compassionate, and respectful gentleman. A stalking creep, violent assaulter, is not a real man.
- You are, in fact, not required to hit on every woman that you find attractive. This is creepy and undesired on every level.
- Trying to have sex with every woman you find attractive makes you a creep, not a stud. To clarify, this is a bad thing and should be avoided at all costs.
- Consent is mandatory for any and all interaction. Meaning that if the person you are interacting with does not desire that interaction, you are probably breaking the law. Best case, you are a stalking creep. How do you know if you have consent or not? If the person you are interacting with has not verbally expressed a desire for the interaction, you likely do not have consent. Is it possible that you may have consent without an explicit verbal expression? Yes, it is possible, the chances are much greater than you don’t than you do. If you assume you have consent when you don’t, you are a stalking creep. If you assume you don’t have consent when you do, you are a kind and caring gentleman (i.e., a real man). A friendly response does not equate consent. She is most likely just being polite and tolerating you. Tolerating is very far from desire in case you are wondering.
- Consent is always earned, never owed. You never deserve consent. It does not matter how she is dressed nor how she acts, none of that negates consent, nor does it entitle you to anything. If this is confusing to you, there are books and classes out there that go into this topic at much dept. I recommend you avoid all interactions until you have a good handle on the concept of consent.
- The world is not fair. You do not always (or even often) get what you want. Your desires do not overwrite the consent rule. A real man knows how to deal with disappointments without getting violent, abusive, or threatening. It is mind-boggling how many reports I’ve heard of men turning violent and abusive verbally or physically over a simple rejection. A real man accepts rejection quietly, calmly, and with humility.
- Women can be extremely technical. It seems that having ovaries or boobs does not prevent them from being brilliant technically. Despite what we have always been taught, being a female does not prevent them from being just as technical as guys, if not more. If you are lucky enough to know technical women, I recommend you listen to her; she might teach you a thing or two or even just blow your mind.
- It turns out that there is absolutely no connection, an absolute zero connection between women’s looks and her skills. An absolutely stunningly beautiful woman can, in fact, also be absolutely brilliant and highly skilled technically. This is probably the most revolutionary idea of them all, so I’ll repeat it again. That, whether you find her attractive or beautiful, does not negate her skills. Yes, it can be hard not to be mesmerized by her beauty, but a real man will overcome that challenge and listen to what she has to say, without constantly fantasizing about having sex with her. If you have been paying attention, you know that trying to have sex with every attractive woman is bad and something a real man does not do.
- I found that most, if not all, women are incredibly beautiful. The formula that was drilled into all of us is absolute rubbish. There is no way to measure a woman’s beauty by taking a few measurements. I know that stats and measurements are something we are very fond of as guys, but women are a work of art, not something that can be measured. After all, if you go to an art museum and try to use science to measure and judge the art, you will be looked on as a weirdo and probably not welcome.
- A real man celebrates a woman that is more accomplished than he is. If she is smarter than you, a real man learns from her. A successful woman threatens only an insecure loser.
- A real man celebrates and lifts up women around him. You have to be a really insecure looser to try to put down people around you in an attempt to feel better about yourself.
- A real man does not try to control or order women around. As an example, don’t tell people to smile; give them a reason to smile.
In summary, a real many treats women as an equal partner—just a fellow human being. Your manliness is not measured by how many women you hit on or harass or try to control. It is measured by how many women you lift up platonically, without trying to or expecting to have sex with her. A real man keeps it in his pants and keeps his desires to himself and lets the woman be in charge of all aspects until the woman asks him to take charge. A real man always ensures he has explicit consent for all interactions. In short, all that we’ve taught is complete rubbish, and flipping it on its head is closer to be right than not.
If any of this advice is confusing to you, please seek help to clarify what you find confusing. If you are not capable of being a real man, as I outlined above, I recommend that you withdraw from society and work on self-improvement. If needed, please seek professional help to make the needed changes.